Communication: Explaining Your Needs and Desires to your husband

The following article came from imom.  To read more articles like this and other great encouraging things, head over to imom.com!

By: Dr. Gary Smalley
Not every husband likes to be approached the same way, but, generally, Dr. Gary Smalley says this advice applies to most men.

1. Make a List

Make a list of the needs and desires you would like to see your husband fulfill. Divide your list into four categories: emotional needs, physical needs, spiritual needs, and mental needs. In some areas you may have an overflow of needs, and in others you may have to struggle to think of one need. But delve into your feelings until you believe your list is complete. Condense the list into the smallest number of vital needs so it doesn't appear overwhelming.
As you explain the list to your husband, remember to discuss one need at a time until you've covered each subject. Your husband may have trouble accepting the importance of some of your needs, so you may have to discuss the difference between men and women where sensitivity is concerned. But be sure to maintain the right attitude while explaining. When you appeal to him for understanding, avoid self-pity, jealousy, and whining. These approaches are repulsive to anyone, especially your husband.
Finally, as you begin to discuss your needs, be careful not to accuse or imply failure on his part; just explain how you feel.

2. The Worst Approach

One woman told me she was extremely discouraged about her husband's lack of interest in her. He had a tremendous drive and interest in his work, his friends, his pastimes, but almost no interest in her or their children. She talked on and on about how much she had tried to get him to change. Nothing seemed to work. When I discussed it with her husband, I found she had continually confronted him with his failures as a husband. He said she always seemed to choose the wrong time to talk about their problems -- "Just when I was trying to unwind." To top it all off, she came across as a combination of prosecutor, judge, and jury. Just before he went to bed, just as he got home from work, almost anytime he "let down" around her, she started condemning and reasoning.
I began to see that she had what I call a "contentious spirit," one that always contends for its own way. She was constantly pushing him into a corner, trying to make him see her point of view. Even the Bible describes the effects of a contentious woman. She drives out a man like the searing desert sun; she drives a man to the corner of a rooftop; she drips on a man like a steady rain (Prov. 25:24; 21:19; 27:15).
What perfect analogies. Around the house this woman's habits were as annoying as a constant dripping -- like a leaky faucet. Her contention was like the sun beating down on a wayfarer in the desert. No matter where her husband turned, he couldn't get away from it. He found no oasis of relief because she continually reminded him of his failures. Finally, her actions forced him to the corner of the rooftop with nowhere else to go.
Want to know what brought him down off the rooftop in a hurry? His wife got rid of her contentious spirit. Consequently, she inspired a tremendous change in her husband. Today she describes him as a much more loving husband who meets her needs in ways she never even dreamed possible.

3. Sharing Not Complaining

Explaining your feelings and needs is not the same as voicing complaints. One couple, who constantly bickered, determined to go through a whole week without voicing any criticism. Rather than argue, each time either of them became irritated, they wrote it down. Each time either was annoyed by the other's failure, he or she wrote it down. They placed each "complaint" slip in one of two boxes, a "his" and a "hers" box. At the end of the week, they planned to open the boxes. He would read her complaints and she would read his.
Saturday night finally arrived, and he decided to go first. He opened the box and began to read the dozens of little notes, one at a time. His eyes reflected the hurt and disappointment in himself as he read the complaints. "You've been promising to fix the screen door for six months, and it's still not fixed." "You never put your socks in the dirty clothes." "I'm getting sick and tired of having to pick up after you everywhere you go." He was sincerely grieved by all the ways that he had offended his wife.
Then it was her turn. She opened the box and pulled out the first slip of paper. She read it with a lump in her throat. The next note brought tears to her eyes. Picking up three more notes, she read them quickly and began to weep. Every note in the box read, "I love you." "I love you." "I love you."
Like many wives, you have been fooled into thinking that one day your complaints would finally remold your husband into the perfect mate. But I hope the example above clearly illustrates that unconditional love and tenderness, not complaints, can transform a cranky opponent into a humble, loving partner.
However, it is important to verbalize your feelings. One wife touched her husband's heart with the note she wrote him. He actually changed his weekly schedule to include more time with her. The note read: "Many days I feel like a shining little red apple -- one of the top ones in a barrel. Everyday you come by and choose one, but never me. Your hand comes close, sometimes you even lift me up, but always you choose another. I've got a little worm growing inside me, and each day I become less attractive. I long for the day that you choose me!"

The Health Benefits of Chocolate

The following article came from imom.  To read more articles like this and other great encouraging things, head over to imom.com!

Do white chocolate and milk chocolate have health benefits?
Sorry, but, no. They lack the flavonoids that make chocolate beneficial. Flavonoids are the natural compounds that have antioxidant properties.

So is all dark chocolate good for you? 
Unfortunately, it's the healthy part of dark chocolate--the flavonoids-- that gives dark chocolate its bittersweet taste, so candy makers often remove them. And since manufacturers are not required to label the amount of flavonoids their product contains, if it doesn't say it has flavonoids, you can't assume it does. 

But, if you find a dark chocolate bar with flavonoids, studies have shown that it may help to improve your circulation, and lower your blood pressure. Some candy makers are now producing dark chocolate bars that are high in flavonoids to meet the growing consumer demand. 

How much dark chocolate do I need to eat for it to be beneficial?
The studies showed that as little as 4g is beneficial (that's about 1/3 of a Hershey's Dark Chocolate Bar). In the blood pressure lowering study, the patients ate the equivalent of 1.5 Hershey's Dark Chocolate Kisses.

So should my chocolate motto be, "the more the better?"
Regrettably, the answer is no. Chocolate has lots of fat, sugar and caolries that need to be accounted for in your overall diet.
Remember, as in all good things, moderation is the key!

Information compiled from studies reported in the American Heart Association and The Lancet medical journals.

Medical information within this site is not intended for use in the diagnosis or treatment of any health condition. Please consult a licensed health care professional for the treatment or diagnosis of any medical condition.

7 Characteristics of Successful Parents

The following article came from imom.  To read more articles like this and other great encouraging things, head over to imom.com!

1) Successful parents don't expect perfection either from themselves or their children.
Parenting is an art, not a science. Successful parents understand that, like themselves, their children aren't perfect either. This frees them to love their children unreservedly.
2) Successful parents don't fear occasional failures.
They understand that mistakes are a normal, even healthy, part of parenting. They make the best decisions they can and when they're wrong, they learn from their mistakes and try to do better the next time.
3) Successful parents don't expect to have smooth sailing.
Children have their own opinions, personalities and preferences. Inevitably, they cause us to say "Where did THAT come from" or "What WERE you thinking"? Our responsibility to provide them with limits and guidance will sometimes clash with their growing desire for independence. Successful parents aren't surprised by them; they expect them. But successful parents understand that their responsibility to their children is not to always please them or make them happy - it's to make the hard decisions that will be for their best in the long run.
4) Successful parents don't go it alone.
Successful parenting means trusting yourself, but not being a Lone Ranger. No one has the experience or answers to every parenting challenge. But each of us has some of the answers and, together, we've got them all. So successful parents aren't reluctant to seek out the wisdom of others. They know that, at the end of the day, the decision is theirs, but before they get there, there is plenty of wisdom along the way waiting to help them.
5) Successful parents try harder.
They face the same pressures we all do - demanding jobs, spouses and children who need them. But they live by this rule: "You get back what you put in." They have a clear sense of priority for their family and are willing to put in the time to achieve it. They give more than the "average parent" so their children will be more than just "average children." These parents work at nurturing and developing themselves to be the best parents they can be.
6) Successful parents enjoy being parents.
They enjoy parenting not because it's easy or instantly rewarding, but because of the sheer joy and privilege of cooperating with God in shaping another unique and precious life. Any parent of grown children will tell you "they grow up so quickly." Successful parents remind themselves of that and try to savor every day with their children. They immerse themselves in their children as much as possible and just enjoy them - even the days of dirty diapers, illness and disappointments. They don't just LOVE their children; they LIKE them and look forward to spending time with them.
7) Successful parents strive to be the person they want their children to become.
There are no formulas for parents. You can't just "program" children like a computer and be guaranteed of the result. But children are great observers and imitators. They watch, listen and absorb values and habits from the people who have the greatest influence on them - their parents. So successful parents resolve that they will set the best example they can for their children.

Taken with permission from AllProDad.com

© 2007 iMom. All rights reserved.

14 Fun Weekend Family Activities

The following article came from imom.  To read more articles like this and other great encouraging things, head over to imom.com!

1. High School Sporting Event: Go to a local high school football, basketball or any other game. Games will usually cost anywhere up to  $5 and are sometimes even free for kids!  To make this even more fun, collect plastic bottles and any cardboard/poster board to make signs and noisemakers to cheer your team on. 
2. Mystery Trip:  Take the kids on a mystery trip.  Give them clues about your destination as you get closer.  It can be something as simple as an ice cream shop or a playground, or a trip to a museum or amusement park.  The possible destinations are endless- just make it a surprise!
3. Family Theater:  Put your child in the spotlight and put on a family play.  You can make this as simple or detailed as you want by creating costumes, props, tickets, and maybe even some yummy refreshments.  This is also a great opportunity to record a home video!
4. The Family Restaurant:  Let your children prepare a meal and serve it to you and your husband restaurant style.  This is a great way for them to have fun in the kitchen and a memorable experience for everyone!
5. Gardening 101:  Plant flowers (indoors in a flower pot or outside).  Let your child pick out what kind of flower he or she wants to plant and teach them how to take care of it. 
6. Be Our Guest:  Get to know the family of one of your child's friends by having the family over for a cookout.
7. Picture Perfect:  Let your kids take photos, print them, and make a photo album- then have the kids think of captions.  Photo albums are easy, fun, and serve as a great keepsake!
8. Scavenger Hunt:  Have a fun, free scavenger hunt.  You can make up fun clues and even have a prize at the end!  If you aren't too sure where to start, look up some ideas on the internet to get you going.
9. Bike Ride:  Go on a bike ride that ends with a picnic.  Map your route before you leave, choosing new and interesting destinations each week.  This day will be full of fun, food, and great exercise!
10. Spa Day: (girls only!) Have a spa hour- paint each other's nails, do your hair, and let them put makeup on you.  To make your spa day even better, wear bath robes and put on some soothing tunes!
11. Obstacle Course:  Build an obstacle course and let each family member compete for the best time.  You can even make certificates or medals for everyone.
12. Garage Sale:  Have a garage sale and let your kids decide how to spend the proceeds on a family day.  Who says you can't have fun and tidy up the garage at the same time?
13. Secret Serving:  Plan a secret surprise for someone in need.  For example, cook a meal for someone or mow their lawn without them knowing who did it.
14. Back Yard Camping: Tell ghost stories, look at the stars, and enjoy some yummy s'mores all in the comfort of your very own back yard.

© 2011 iMOM. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.

3 Ways To Save On Your Grocery Bill

The following article came from imom.  To read more articles like this and other great encouraging things, head over to imom.com!

Steve and Annette Economides are known as America's Cheapest Family, and they're proud to have that title!  They're latest book is Cut Your Grocery Bill In Half.  The following ideas for saving on your grocery bill are based on their method of doing their grocery shopping once a month.  But, you can still use them even if you shop more often.

Step One: Taking Stock of what you already have

Before we embark on our once-a-month grocery trek, Annette takes stock of what we have in our pantry and refrigerator and Steve inventories the freezer. Annette records items in a number of categories, noting what we'll need to buy in order to make it through the month. If you go shopping once each week or twice a month this step is still critical for making sure your pantry and freezer are fully stocked so you won't have to make a special trip to just pick up one missing item for a meal you are preparing (but you may not have to do a full inventory each time). Taking stock also helps us minimize duplicate purchases and "remind" us to use the things we already have in the house.
Using a blank sheet of scrap paper, we make note of the following items and quantities we have in stock (of course, your list will differ):

• Breakfast Foods: Eggs; milk; juice; oatmeal; cold cereal; bagels; and ingredients for waffles, pancakes and French toast. She also makes sure our pantry is well-stocked with baking soda, flour, baking powder, vanilla, cinnamon and commonly used spices.
• Lunch Foods: Peanut butter and jelly; tuna; bread; lunch meat; eggs for egg salad; tortillas and shredded cheese for cheese crisps; hot dogs; cottage cheese; yogurt; salad fixings and plenty of fruit.
• Dinner Foods: Steve basically takes almost everything out of our chest freezer and gets a count of the number of items in each of the following categories: pork/ham; sausage; chicken/turkey; beef; lamb and lunchmeat. He also notes how much margarine, bread and butter we have along with frozen vegetables. Finally we check our supply of beans, pasta and other items for meatless meals or side dishes.

Once you know what you have in your pantry and freezer you have two choices to make:

1. Go on to the next step of reviewing the good ads so you decide where you will shop for the items you'll eat in the next week or weeks.  Or…
2. Plan your menu from what you already have in stock and just go to the store to pick up a few of the things that you are out of.  The rest of your shopping trip will be to pick up items that are steeply discounted. Over time, as your pantry becomes well-stocked, your shopping trips will be focused less on buying food to consume this week or this month, and more for the future.

Step TWO: researching and listing sale items.

Once Annette knows what we have in stock, she carefully reviews the grocery store ads with a black marker in hand, circling items that we need and items that are at or below our "Buy Price." In our city, food ads from most of the grocery stores arrive either in the mail or in the Wednesday newspaper. If for some reason a particular store's flyer doesn't arrive, we review their ad on the Internet. But it's always easier for Annette to evaluate the sales flyers sitting at the kitchen table with all of the printed ads in front of her.
Once she has reviewed and circled all of the ads paper and writes a list of the best deals. But she doesn't just write one long list of items she wants, she lists the sale items by store. This is not our official shopping list, but simply a list of sale items broken down by store.  Just because an item is put on the list doesn't mean that it will be purchased- they are just written down as sale items, to note the price as a possible purchase or for easy price comparison.
She lists one store at a time on a sheet of loose leaf paper, recording the best sale items they are advertising under the name.
This list serves three purposes:

1. It helps us determine the store or stores where we will shop. We usually shop two in one night. The first one for the bulk of our shopping and the second for loss-leaders.
2. It allows us to see prices on the items we want easier without having to flip through numerous pages of store ads.
3. If we are short on time, it allows us to go to Wal-mart and more easily ''Ad-Match'' the best prices from all of the other stores' sales.

In reality, some of the sale items purchased on this shopping trip will not be incorporated into the menu now, but will be saved for future months. This stockpiling concept allows us to always be eating food purchased at the lowest prices.

Step THREE: listing daily events

Having determined what sale items Annette will buy, she starts to create the month's meal plan by pulling out her calendar.  Why the calendar? Simple. She plans the menu based on our family's schedule for each night. She doesn't want to cook a roast on a night when the children will be out with activities. When nothing is scheduled for the dinner hour or after dinner, she'll plan a more complex meal like a turkey or roast. The bottom line is to plan meals that fit with the schedule.

Sample beginner menu

This is a simple beginner menu that Annette presents at our seminars. It's not perfectly nutritious, but it will give you an easy target to hit-so you start off being successful.

• Monday: Tacos-lettuce, tomato, cheese, meat
• Tuesday: Mac & Cheese, Carrots-cooked or raw
• Wednesday: Hot Dogs, Beans, Pickles
• Thursday: BBQ Chicken, Corn on Cob, Applesauce
• Friday: Spaghetti & Meatballs, Salad
• Saturday: Hamburgers, Baked Potatoes, Green Beans
• Sunday: Vegetable Soup with Muffins

Over the years, Annette has been transformed from being a culinary challenged cook to a menu planning machine. She isn't one of these women who just loves to be in the kitchen cooking from morning to night. She views it more as an exercise in efficiency, "I want to feed my family good tasting, healthy meals. So how can I achieve this goal without spending my life doing it?" It's not that Annette hates to cook, but that she has so many other things she wants to do with the kids and Steve that she wants to minimize the time spent preparing meals. It helps to break down meal planning into various components (veggies, starches and main dishes) so you can create nutritionally balanced meals.
Before you select your meals, it's a good idea to create a reference list of all the veggies, fruits and starches that are available for you to choose from. It's a lot easier to have a list in front of you than to have to try to remember all of your options.
The meal combinations are decided based on a number of factors:

1. Seasonal: Almost all of the fruits and vegetables we eat are ones that are in season- and inexpensive. So if we have a hankering for asparagus or some other seasonal fruit or veggie, but the price is outrageous, we just wait for it to be "in season." That is unless we have previously purchased a fruit such as blueberries and stored them in the freezer. If you're not sure when particular fruits or veggies are in season in your area, consult with your local county extension service, they should be able to provide you with accurate information. Another great source would be to stop by a farmers market-they'll know for sure.
2. Variety: We try not to repeat the same veggies or starches two days in a row. We once heard of a mom who just didn't like the idea of planning meals, so she fed her family the same meal every day for two weeks! We know that's an extreme example, but planning a little variety into your menu will go a long way to helping you really enjoy the process.
3. Nutrition: Having a menu planned with three categories-proteins, starches and vegetables-provides a balanced diet and helps our kids understand the food groups so they can develop healthy eating habits from a young age.

 Another time saver in selecting the meals is to compile a list that contains all of the meals you currently know how to cook. Annette's list has grown over the years from just a handful of meals to over one-hundred. From this list, Annette selects and "plugs in" meals on her menu planner sheet always being mindful of the amount of preparation time required for the meal and the events of each particular evening. She even includes the judicious use of left-avers-knowing that many of the meals are prepared in large enough quantities to serve again. Planning the daily meals is probably the most time consuming and mentally intense part of menu planning. It's also the step that will give you the most freedom throughout the week or month because you'll have a plan, written down. With this step completed, you've just taken dinner out of panic mode and planned it to perfection.
Annette usually plans 15-18 dinner meals to be cooked on our once-a-month cooking day. (We view this much like our once-a-month food shopping trek-it is efficient and helps make the household run smoother throughout the month. These meals are stored in the freezer to be used later in the month when the menu calls for it. Once she has the freezer meals planned, she fills in the remaining days with leftovers or roasted chicken; pasta with homemade spaghetti sauce; pork chops; steaks on the grill or other meals cooked on the day they are eaten.
Can you see how having a written plan can really reduce your stress level? It's more like fitting together a jig saw puzzle-just getting the pieces to fit rather than creating some- thing from scratch.

Taken with permission from Cut Your Grocery Bill in Half with America's Cheapest Family by Steve and Annette Economides.    

8 Outside-the-Box Date Ideas

The following article came from imom.  To read more articles like this and other great encouraging things, head over to imom.com!

Couple time is important to your marriage, especially when life is fast and furious (and when is it not?). Making some one-on-one time for you and your husband can be tricky, given the family schedule and tight budgets. When the traditional dinner and a movie on Saturday night just isn't going to happen, try one of these fresh date ideas:

1. Break a sweat together. If you can find a neighbor or friend to hang out with the kids for an hour (or two), go for a quick bike ride, run, or walk. The exercise will be a great stress reliever for both of you, and during the cool down, you'll have a chance to talk.
2. Try breakfast or lunch, instead. If your work schedule is flexible enough to allow coming in an hour later once in a while, try going out for breakfast after the kids are off to school. You might find that you're even more tuned in to each other early in the day before fatigue sets in. Or take your lunch break together—the kids are in school (no sitter required) and everyone has to each lunch, right?
3. Get lost together in a local museum or art gallery. It's fun to just wander and take in the exhibits with no particular agenda. What you see will often spark interesting conversation, and reveal more about your spouse and how he sees the world. Plus, many museums and galleries have no or low admission fees.
4. Take on a project together. Make sure it's not too stressful or complex, but something that you can toil away on, side-by-side, often allowing a chance to talk and share along the way. Think planting a new flower bed, doing a jigsaw puzzle, or painting a room.
5. Picnic in the park. If a sitter is no where to be found, there's no better place to keep the kids at bay while you reconnect than the park. Take a blanket and picnic, pick a spot where you can see the kids on the playground, and let them go. While they play, you can relax and chat.
6. Participate in a couples' bible study or small group at your church. You'll likely enjoy the time with other couples, and many churches provide childcare for these activities.
7. Take in the late show at the drive-in. Drive-ins are making a comeback in some areas, and it's a great option for parents of small children. Put them in their jammies and let them get comfy in the back seat, and they'll be asleep before the previews are over. Then slide over next to your sweetie and pretend you're 18 again. If you're not a night owl - and more of an early bird - you can catch the matinee, which is also a little cheaper! 
8. Take a day off together. Your kids are at school, and you can hire a babysitter for the afternoon hours so you can just enjoy each other's company for an entire day.

© 2010 iMOM. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.

11 Mombligations and the Lies Moms Believe

The following article came from imom.  To read more articles like this and other great encouraging things, head over to imom.com!

 

Moms sure can put a lot of pressure on themselves!  Not only are we actually doing the work of being mothers and wives, we make our work more stressful and less joyful by believing lies about how the work "must" be done. 

See if you have put yourself under any of these mombligations, which are really lies in disguise…

1. I must be cheerful for my family at all times
2. I must never admit I'm having a hard day
3. I must focus on my kids 24/7
4. I am only as good as the size of my jeans
5. I must make every meal healthy, tasty and special
6. I must make every day fun for my family
7. I cannot go to bed until all of my "mom work" is done
8. I must get everything "right" with my kids or they will be ruined
9. I must keep my house pretty close to spotless
10. I must say yes to every school or volunteer request
11. I must berate myself when I fall short of these mombligations

© 2011 iMOM. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.

Quick and Easy Energy Boosters

The following article came from imom.  To read more articles like this and other great encouraging things, head over to imom.com!

- When you wake up, shower with lavender-scented soap—the scent has energizing power.
- Don't skip breakfast, but don't eat lots of sugar either. Instead grab a mix of protein, carbs and healthy fat —   like an egg on whole-grain toast with a slice of cheese.
- If you need a pick-me-up, have a cup of fragrant herbal tea instead of coffee.
- Take a break. Sit quietly for five minutes, close your eyes and take deep breaths.
- If you're sliding into a slump, perk up with some citrus! Eat an orange, wash your hands with lemon   soap or put on some grapefruit-scented lotion.
- Make sure you get at least seven hours of sleep. If you get enough rest every night you'll be ready to go the next morning.
- Exercise! Even if you don't feel like it at the time, getting up and moving will re-energize you and put you in a better mood for the rest of the day. And this can be a fun activity for you to share with your kids.
- Massage your scalp or temples to get your circulation flowing.
- Drink a glass of ice water – did you know you're supposed to have eight 8 oz. glasses of water a day?
- Have a healthy, high-energy snack. A mix of carbs and protein can provide a prolonged boost to your blood-sugar level, giving you energy for hours. Try nuts, dried fruit such as raisins, whole wheat bagels with peanut butter, or yogurt.


© 2011 iMOM. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.

15 Minute, One Room, 4-Step Spruce Up

The following article came from imom.  To read more articles like this and other great encouraging things, head over to imom.com!

You'll need:

1. Broom or sweeper

2. Vacuum (if you have rugs or carpet)

3. Ability to kick it into high gear

Minutes	Action
1:00 - 4:00	Work clockwise around the perimeter of your room, straightening and picking up any items that belong somewhere else.  Put those items by the room's exit, to take on your way out.
4:00 - 10:00	If you have tile, wood or laminate flooring, sweep and mop (if you only have time for one of those – sweep).  If you have rugs or carpet, vacuum.
10:00 - 15:00	Grab the items that belong elsewhere.  If you have time, put them in the rooms where they belong.  If you don't, put them in an out of the way place – or under a bed (LOL)!

Minutes	Action
1:00 - 4:00	Work clockwise around the perimeter of your room, straightening and picking up any items that belong somewhere else.  Put those items by the room's exit, to take on your way out.
4:00 - 10:00	If you have tile, wood or laminate flooring, sweep and mop (if you only have time for one of those – sweep).  If you have rugs or carpet, vacuum.
10:00 - 15:00	Grab the items that belong elsewhere.  If you have time, put them in the rooms where they belong.  If you don't, put them in an out of the way place – or under a bed (LOL)!

© 2010 iMOM. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.

12 Indoor Activities For Kids

The following article came from imom.  To read more articles like this and other great encouraging things, head over to imom.com!

1. Puppet Show - We're doing it old school style here. Go through the sock drawer and remove any matchless white socks. Have your kids create faces on the socks using markers, glue, scraps of fabric, pipe cleaners, and any other craft materials you have lying around. Push the couch off the wall, and voilà! You have the perfect stage for a puppet show. For the storyline, have your kids put on their puppet personas and act out a favorite memory or an embarrassing moment. It's certain to garner some laughs again, especially if their siblings are involved.
2. How Cold Is It?- This is a fun way for your kids to envision life in other places.  First, ask them to think of the coldest place in the world.  Then, go to weather.com and type in their answers, one by one in the search bar to find out the current temperature.  See who can come up with the coldest location.  Then, warm things up by having them think of the hottest place in the world.
3. Get Dressed Fast!-This is a fun game you can play relay style with teams, or you can play it with just one child.  The goal is to put on an assortment of items as quickly as you can.  So, for one child, set the items in front of them… gloves, a hat, a belt, you get the idea.  Then, say, go!  See how long it takes them to get dressed.  Let them try it again to better their time.  For teams, have each player put on the clothes, take off the clothes and pass them to the next team member.  The first team to finish, wins!
4. Fort Film Fest - Build a fort surrounding your family's TV using tablecloths, blankets or your camping tent. Make sure all of the blinds are closed and the lights are off. Find two or three movies that are sequential like Toy Story and Toy Story 2. Spread out blankets and sleeping bags for a comfy pallet, pop loads of popcorn and enjoy a dark, quiet house in the middle of the day!
5. Roller Derby - This was my absolute favorite rainy day activity growing up. Remove anything from the kitchen that's not nailed to the floor. Let the kids don their rollerblades or skates and explore the kitchen on wheels. Don't worry! your kitchen does not have to be big for them to think this is the best idea you've ever had!
6. Tie-Dye party - You'll need a couple of boxes of different colored Dye kits (try RIT), some kitchen gloves, and some old white t-shirts. Follow the directions for making the dye. Meanwhile, have the kids grab some old white t-shirts (tip: it's ok if the tee has a graphic on it, as long as the base of the shirt is white) and bind them in different spots with rubber bands. Have them dip sections of the t-shirts into the dye. Ring them out, wash them (make sure you don't have anything else in your washer), unbind them and hang them out to dry.
7. Talent Show - Make it quirky, like having your children balance spoons on their noses, or make it real, like showing off what they've learned at piano lessons. For the full effect, create a stage by pulling their box spring out from under their mattress.
8. Wii™ Tournament - Pick your family's favorite Wii™ game. Bowl, box, swing, or rock your way through the rainy day until the last man is standing. Bragging rights is the only prize they'll want.
9. Try not to laugh - Create a circle by having each family member lay their head on another member's belly, and so on until everyone is lying on someone else's belly. One at a time let out a "Ha" --from the depths of your belly. Go around the circle once saying "Ha." The second go-around let out two "Ha's," the third round let out three. You're out if your one or two "ha's" turn into uncontrollable "ha's" (laughing). The last one left on the floor is the winner.
10. Scavenger Hunt - Send each child with a list of items to scavenge from around the house. They can either make a picture of the items or actually collecting them. Use riddles whenever possible, especially for the older ones. Example: It gives and takes away light. Their answer could be blinds, a light switch, or a lamp. There's no wrong answer for these riddles, as long as it keeps them guessing, and busy!
11. One word at a time - Create a story with your kids by each of you contributing just one word at a time. You'll never create the same story twice.
12. Treasure Hunt - Start saving up for a rainy day, toys that is. Scour your favorite superstore or dollar store for low (like under $3) priced items. Keep them from the clingy hands of your kiddos and stash them in a makeshift treasure box. When the rainy day arrives hide the box, create clues and maps that will take them on a fun (and hopefully long) adventure.

© 2011 iMOM. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.

7 Ways to Adore Your Husband

The following article came from imom.  To read more articles like this and other great encouraging things, head over to imom.com!

How a Little Old Fashioned Admiration Can Make Your Marriage Better

Let’s face it, who doesn’t want to be adored?  Men, especially, crave that potent combination of respect and admiration; it’s just the way they’re wired.  And, when your husband feels your adoration, he’ll want to be around you and please you more.

Even if you don’t feel like adoring your husband, try some of these 7 ways below and see if your adoration doesn’t inspire him to adore you a bit more, too.

1. Adore Him As Is
   Don’t wait to adore him until he’s nicer, makes more money or is more affectionate with you.  The key is to love him as he is right now.  Even if he’s not 100 percent adorable, accept him as he is and adore him.
2. Adore Him For What He Accomplishes
   Sure, you may love and appreciate your husband, but he won’t know unless you tell him.  So tell him in specifics:  It’s amazing the way you handle all of your responsibilities.  How do you do it?  You really are such a great dad, our kids just love you.  You did an awesome job fixing the garage door.  I didn’t even know you knew how to do that.
3. Adore Him As a Sex Object
   If you don’t adore him in this area, who will?  This is something only the two of you share.  Compliment him.  You don’t have to wait until you’re in bed together, whisper a compliment at breakfast or just as an aside: “I was thinking about last night and how great…”  You get the idea.
4. Adore Him By Listening
   The next time you’re around a husband and wife, listen.  Does she finish his sentences?  Does she interrupt him while he’s telling a story?  Does she give him order after order before he can even get a word in?  Men process communication differently.  It usually takes them more time to formulate their thoughts and get them out.  When they do, they take more pauses and speak more slowly.  So adore him by listening to him instead of interrupting.
5. Adore Him By Putting Him First
   When your kids need you, they need you.  You can’t tell your 3 year old to wait while you give your husband a back massage.  But, you can make the effort to let your husband knows he’s still a priority.  For example, one husband I know told his wife about an upcoming business trip he had in New England.  He was excited to take her because he knew how much she loved that area.  But, instead of zeroing in on her husband’s intent, she started thinking of things they could do if they brought the kids on the trip.  He later told her he was crushed.
6. Adore Him By Not Giving Advice
   When your husband opens up to you about challenges he’s having with his business, with his co-workers, or with anything else, try not to jump in and give momish advice.  You know how we moms do; we jump in with a solution just to help.  Unfortunately, what you intend as advice, he hears as “she doesn’t think I can handle it.”
7. Adore Him So Others Can See It and Hear ItA compliment given at home is one thing; a compliment given in front of others is magnified big time.  So the next time you’re out with your husband with friends or family, or even when you’re at the hardware store together, let him hear you complimenting him to others.  He’ll try even harder to live up to your adoration of him. 

© 2011 iMOM. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.

8 Ways To Simplify Your Life

The following article came from imom.  To read more articles like this and other great encouraging things, head over to imom.com!

Do you feel like the walls are closing in and the calendar is screaming at you most days? We know the feeling. Much of the pressure in our lives is a product of choices that we make: the obligations we take on, the stuff we buy, the priorities we set. If you’re ready to shake off the excess and travel light, try these suggestions.

1.  Shed Some Stuff. Owning things isn’t bad, but we have to be honest about the fact that the more we own, the more we’re required to maintain.  Maybe the 4 bedroom house with a pool is tough to clean and expensive to heat and cool. Downsizing is an option. Maybe the import car that must be serviced out of town is really impractical. Trading cars may be the answer. Maybe the boat costs more to keep than you expected. Perhaps it’s time to sell it. At some point, the cost of ownership is too much, and you’d be happier with less stuff.

2.  Take a Long Look at the Calendar. A great deal of the pressure modern families feel each day is a product of over-commitment. If your family’s calendar looks like a New York train schedule, it’s time to prioritize based upon your core values and family goals and lose the things that don’t directly help you meet those goals. If spiritual growth is a major family value, then church activities would rise to the top of the scheduling priority. If the kids’ extracurricular activities are important, it may be a matter of determining which ones have a real long-term value and being more selective. Social events may be low on the list during this busy season of life, and need to fall off the calendar some weeks. Be ruthless. Just because something is good doesn’t mean it’s the best use of your time right now.

3.  Learn to Say No. We know your type: you’re a doer. And your reward for being so productive is that people constantly ask you to chair a committee or help plan the school event. This is another one of those areas where your core values need to drive the prioritization, and realism about your limitations needs to set the boundaries.  You can’t do it all—and if you try, you probably won’t do it all well. Choose your volunteer commitments carefully, and do a great job, with joy, on fewer things.

4.  Clear the clutter. Once you’ve trimmed down your calendar, you can up your sanity level even more by cleaning out and organizing your home. A clean closet lets you see the clothing you’re actually going to wear, and well-organized kitchen cabinets make meal prep and clean-up easier. Dump some junk you never use and edit your household items to make the everyday tasks simpler.

5.  Do a career audit. Most career advisors encourage a routine assessment of your professional situation and how well it lines up with your personal desires and goals. Take a long, hard look at your job and what it really contributes to your life. If the long commute is cutting into valuable family time, maybe it’s time to explore telecommuting. If your sales job requires relentless travel, maybe it’s time to be on the lookout for a position with a smaller territory. We realize it’s a tight job market these days, but identifying what you truly want will make you ready to act when the opportunity does come along.

6.  Clean up your finances. Few things can relieve your stress and restore your joy like getting a grip on your money. Sure, it takes a little effort at first to get organized and disciplined--but the pay-off (pardon the pun) is huge. So download some money management software and straighten out the budget. You’ll be glad you did.

7.  Unplug. Whether you realize it or not, your media consumption creates a lot of “noise” in your brain. When we’re constantly awash with information and advertising, it becomes harder to organize our thoughts and priorities and focus on what matters. Spend less time plugged into the digital world, and more time plugged into the real one.

8.  Get back to basics. Build some time in your life for slowing down: taking a walk after dinner, doodling in a flower bed, or doing something simple and soothing with your hands (try knitting!). It’s good for the soul and brings our stress levels down—no power cord required!

© 2011 iMOM. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.

15 Minutes That Can Change Your Day

The following article came from iMOM.  To read more articles like this and other great encouraging things, head over to imom.com!

1 – 5 Minutes

Pray: Before you do anything else, get some divine intervention going.  Yes, if you can make the time, pray longer and harder.  But in three minutes you can give thanks and pray for your family and yourself.  Have a piece of paper and a pencil handy.  Surprisingly, good ideas often pop up when you're in prayer.

6 – 10 Minutes

Plan: Knowing what we have ahead of us, and how we're going to tackle it, can help us feel more in control of our life.  When we feel that way, we alleviate stress.  So spend 6 minutes prioritizing and strategizing your day.  (Don't try to handle any of your to-do's in these 6 minutes.  This time is just for planning.)

11 – 12 Minutes

Focus: Take one minute to focus on your job as a mother.  Look at the 30 Day Mom Challenge and find today's date.  Focus on that challenge today.

13 – 15 Minutes

Breathe: Okay, you've prayed and you've planned.  For the next minute, breathe.  For relaxation:  breathe in through your nose for 4 counts.  Hold it for one count and exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds.  Repeat this at least six times.

© 2010 iMOM. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.